GHETTO TRANSLATIONS 101

• #1 “I’m around da corner.” = I’m 45 minutes away
• #2 "We in Dis Bitch!" = We Will be attending the event
• #3 Free my nigggaaa" = Although he did commit a crime that is against the law.. free to him because he is my friend
• #4 "so you Mad?" = "it amuses me that your angered by what just occurred when it didn't seem like a big deal to me
• #5 "you wasnt with me shootin in the gym" = you did not contribute to my current success in any way, shape or form
• #6 Where dey do dat at? = What type of establishment allows behavior of that sort?
• #7 Im Bout To Go Ham = If you say 1 more thing that displeases me. I shall be forced to take disciplinary actions
• #8 "I got da whip"= My mother was kind enough to let me use the car.
• #9 You Tryna Chill? = I Really Want To Engage In Sexual Activity With You But If I Said That You Might Say No
• #10 "I'm chillin tonight" = My current financial situation is not budgeted for extra curricular activity."
• # 11 "you aint bout that life" = your living standards are not fit for the situation at hand!
• #12 Sh*t just got real! = The situation has escalated to the highest point of seriousness & is no longer a laughing matter!!

• Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
• Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
• Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
• Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
• Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
• Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
• Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
• Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
• Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
• Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
• Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
• Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
• Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
• Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
• Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
• Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.